Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Juhamel, Tyrese Gibson; Director: Michael Bay; Producers: Ian Bryce, Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Don Murphy; Screenwriters: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci; Music: Steve Jablomsky; Editor: Roger Barton, Tom Muldoon, Joel Negron, Paul Rubell; Genre: Action/ Adventure/ Science Fiction; CinematographBen Seresin; Distributor: Dreamworks; Location: New Mexico, USA; Running Time: 150 min.;
Technical Assessment: 3
Moral Assessment: 3
CINEMA Rating: For viewers 14 and above
Long ago, the first time Transformers came to Planet Earth, there took place a huge war wherein the key to a giant weapon was hidden. Now, the robots are back—Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, etc. The Decepticons are the villains in the story, and they’re headed for Earth under the leadership of The Fallen (voice of Hugo Weaving). The Fallen has sent an advanced troop to resurrect Megatron (voice of Hugo Weaving) and kill Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen), intending to invade Earth in order to get the missing key and the giant weapon it runs, and then destroy Earth’s sun. But first they must capture Sam (Shia LeBeouf) and his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) who are in possession of a precious shard of the Allspark. A destructive chase after this otherwise insignificant human being Sam represents the meat of the story.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has all the characteristics of a bedtime story for preschoolers: it does not have to be a coherent story; its plot need not be logical but it must offer non-stop ticklers to engage the imagination; its characters do not have to be credible but some of them need to be cute; the fight between good and evil is so protracted that in the end the kids won’t care a hoot who wins. The movie’s length is the other thing that makes it perfect as a bedtime story for kids who can’t seem to have enough: at two and a half hours running time, it will surely put them to sleep before it ends. The big thing about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the special effects. Although most of the time, the robot wars make it hard to distinguish the bad robots from the good robots, the men behind the computers must be given Oscars for their labors. Makes you wonder what they’re going to come up with next. Here it’s handsome cars morphing into Hulk-y robots, and there are robot flies, robot ants, robot pumas, robot blenders, robot girlfriends—ooops, no offense to Megan Fox, but the camera (or the cameraman) is fixated on making her look like Angelina Jolie’s baby sister minus the brains. But that’s okay because she’s paired with Shia LeBeouf who himself can pass for the baby brother of Russell Crowe minus the brawn. Meowing aside, if we could we would award the CGI geniuses.
Let’s give it the benefit of the doubt and say Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has good intentions. Besides keeping the movie clean enough for young viewers, it also offers you tidbits on which to build your own moral conclusions, although that might seem like squeezing milk out of pyramid blocks. Some practical lessons that pop up at the oddest moments are: one, marijuana should be kept out of reach of adults; 2, pretty girls who throw themselves at you are always suspect—especially when they can grow metal tails that can strangle the hell out of you; 3, handsome cars are more reliable than pretty girls—they’ll be there for you till kingdom come; but 4, look twice before buying your sons Matchbox cars—you’ll never know when a shard from outer space will transform them into nasty little bug robots—it might be safer to get them Megan Barbies instead. Ho-hum.
